A sea of numbers

I feel lost. I am there, alone among a sea of lonely souls and no rescue is to be found. Around me there is fear, tears, lonely hearts and abandon creatures. Once part of an identity but now nothing else than just another number in an incomprehensive pile of numbers, waiting to be counted, categorized, classified and forgotten. Once part of a culture, a heritage, a past and dreams of the future. Now just another shadow in the sad and dark part of the world where smiles are vicious and kindness a sign of weakness. Once part of an entity, a family, a clan or tribe, a society of importance and with respect to be earned. Now left with nothing else than praying for the willingness of the rest to stay alive, to live or die.

I am among you. I am one of you. I am part of you, your flesh and blood, your sister and brother, mother and father, family. I am with you and yet I am not. I am someone, yet no-one, nothing to be said and done. In this lonely sea of despair, fear and lost dreams they are the captains, they are the once with boats and they have the power to decide…Who will survive and who will be left behind. We are the waves, drifting endlessly in the sea and only stopping when we hit the shore, finally finishing our journey, just to die.

I used to be somebody. I used to be more than a number, a part of your statistical tables and graphs. I used to be special, important, part of the inner circle of life and love. I used to be a fighter, a survivor, a traveler and an individual with goals. I used to be everything but in your hands I am lost!

It is time. My time has come. A step ahead, then another one. A long and painful silent procedure toward becoming a no-one forever doomed to everlasting silence and anonymous…Gone! Name, age, origin, height, weight, colour of the eyes and skin…I am stripped off all my belongings one by one. I am robbed off my privileges and characteristics step by step. I am becoming their no-one, dying forever, and becoming just another number on the list. You can take me, strip med down, even kill me…But my dreams will stay and they will keep me alive, preserving me as the one.